Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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