PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
