Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
