I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
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Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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