you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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