my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
