it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
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I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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