matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize