also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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