Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
