i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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