She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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