I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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