The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
