a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize