**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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