We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
