to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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