I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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