She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
