Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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