Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't turn off my feet"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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