VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
no, he came in my armpit
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
