if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
