Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
