Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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