so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
