i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
