But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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