i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
