Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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