you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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