I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I stole a fireplace last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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