girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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