The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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