do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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