She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Michael Bay diarrhea
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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