Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
