First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
