Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
