she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
