day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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