Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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