I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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