thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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