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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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