I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen