Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"