the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list