how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.