Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...