The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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