Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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