I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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