I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
