Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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