Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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