I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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