its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
