You're so nebulous sometimes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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