great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
