i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
