Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
