Yo dont text me then not text me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize