thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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