I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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