'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
