I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
